


Don't Be Afraid Of Letting Go.

by aperfectpearl (dimensionhoppingrose)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, Other, Pearl getting the love she deserves, Post CYM, pearl and amethyst friendship, some headcanons mixed with facts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 04:12:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18335936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimensionhoppingrose/pseuds/aperfectpearl
Summary: “Look, I know we were only Opal for like five seconds before Yellow D zapped us, but I… got this feeling. Like, I dunno, you were fighting against something.”* * * * * * * * * * * *The dust settles, everyone is settling in and finally resting, and Amethyst decides to check in with Pearl about something that happened when they fused.





	Don't Be Afraid Of Letting Go.

**Author's Note:**

> Pearl getting the care she deserves is my OTP. I suppose if you squint it could be Pearl/Amethyst, but meh. I think I just kind of write her naturally loving with all the gems XD
> 
> As is my MO, I'm drugged and it's two in the morning. Enjoy!

“Yo.”

Pearl looked over at Amethyst. She had been lying on top of Greg’s van, arms crossed under her head, admiring the stars from afar. The way, she realized, they were meant to be.

“Sure.” She sat up, giving Amethyst room to sit. Steven was asleep below them, as the house was still half collapsed. The impromptu party had slowly drifted off slowly, everyone still loitering around and doing their own thing. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, ‘course. I can’t just wanna chat?” Pearl raised an eyebrow, and Amethyst sighed, entirely put out. “Okay okay, stop giving me that…  _ mom _ look. I just… wanted to ask if you’re okay.”

“If  _ I’m _ okay?” Pearl repeated incredulously. “Why in the world wouldn’t I be?”

“I just… I…” Amethyst waved a hand, then huffed. “Look, I know we were only Opal for like five seconds before Yellow D zapped us, but I… got this feeling. Like, I dunno, you were fighting against something.”

Pearl cringed, looking away. “I’m… sorry that bled over, I was trying to keep it back—”

“P.” Amethyst’s voice was flat. “You should know me better than thinking that’s what I’m worried about.” Pearl blushed slightly. “What happened?”

“Well…” Pearl drew her legs up to herself, wrapping her arms around her them. “It’s… complicated.”

“Try me.”

She could handle it, Pearl knew. She’d grown up so much, and Pearl was so proud of her. The time of hiding things was finally over. “There’s this…” She waved her hands uncertainly, “Hmn… you know Steven’s friend? The older one who’s always shouting about aliens and conspiracies?”

“I don’t think he and Steven are really  _ friends _ , but yeah.”

“Well, he went on this one tirade a while back about the government or something using television to spread subliminal messaging…”

“Oh yeah, I remember that one.” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Crying Breakfast Friends is some kind of propaganda.”

“Right. Homeworld has something… kind of similar to that.”

“Crying Breakfast Friends?”

“No, a subliminal message-type thing. Like… a broadcast, I guess. It’s meant to keep gems placid and docile, so they don’t question the Diamonds.”

“ _ What _ ?” Amethyst said in disbelief. “That’s… seriously messed up. I didn’t feel anything. Did it hit Garnet too?”

“You’ve been completely independent from Homeworld your entire life. I can’t say for sure that’s entirely why, but you’ve probably built up some natural immunity against it just because you were never exposed to it. Garnet… might have, but the combination of Ruby and Sapphire nulled it out. Ruby is a lower caste gem, like pearls, but Sapphire is an aristocratic gem.”

“Fancy.”

“She’s slumming with us.” Pearl chuckled quietly. “I tried not to fall back into it when we got there, but spending time with Yellow and Blue… it was so easy to just slip back into it. Next thing I know I’m standing next to Pink’s throne in perfect position.” She paused before adding, “And I’m still better than Yellow.”

Amethyst snorted, shoving Pearl, and she laughed. “So Homeworld’s got some weird hypnotizing thing going on?”

“Pretty much. You saw what White Diamond can do. They’ve sort of contained it and ramped down the power so everyone isn’t a washed out puppet.”

“How kind of them.” The sarcasm was obvious. “Coming here must have been a shock.”

“Yeah. It… took awhile for me to realize I could really be free here.” She smiled humorlessly. “It made having to go back to Homeworld with Pink Diamond very hard.”

Amethyst’s expression fell. “Oh… dang, I didn’t even of think of that. You went back and forth a lot, huh?”

“Toward the end it was practically every other day.” Pearl sighed. “At first it was just once a week check ins with Blue and Yellow from the moonbase — you know that communicator Peridot stole? There was a second one that was a direct line to Blue.”

“Seriously? Glad Peridot didn’t know that. Could you imagine if we had to fight her down for another one?”

“I think we got lucky she took the one to Yellow. I’m pretty sure Blue wouldn’t have wound her up like that. Her way of leading is more passive aggressive.” Pearl tapped her chin, thinking. “If she even picked up. It sounds like she’s spent the last five thousand years mourning. Anyways, toward the end of it all, Blue and Yellow started insisting on in-person meetings, so we had to keep going back to Homeworld, and I could feel that… that  _ bug _ trying to burrow into my mind, trying to force me to submit, even to report Pink Diamond for everything she was doing.” She shuddered. “I fought it, and we never stayed long, but it was hard.”

“You fought it, though,” Amethyst said, a hint of awe in her voice. “You’ve been fighting Homeworld programming for thousands of years, haven’t you?”

“It’s been easier for the last few thousand years.” Pearl unfurled and leaned back, her palms resting on the roof of the van. “And… I know this is going to sound crazy, but that struggle actually helped.”

“Yeah?” Amethyst looked over at her. “How?”

“Because… I loved Rose Quartz.” Amethyst noted the use of the past tense. “With Rose, I could be real and truly free. I respected Pink Diamond, but I was never equal to her. The Homeworld hierarchy was a constant pressure in the back of my mind. But that pressure was gone on Earth. I could look at Rose and feel like I was worth as much as she was — well, almost.” She blushed slightly. “I still considered her life more important than me. But that was just… well, misguided expressions of love. Pink Diamond I respected, and I might have considered her a friend… but I didn’t love her. When we faked her shattering… she truly died to both of us. We left her behind.”

Amethyst stared at Pearl for a long moment before flopping over, her head resting in Pearl’s lap. “But that… subliminal stuff… it’s all done now, right? No more weird mind control?”

“None,” Pearl assured her. “I think all the fusing helped — first Rainbow Quartz, then Obsidian, then of course White Diamond took control of us so it didn’t matter anyways. But no side effects. I promise.”

Amethyst grinned, closing her eyes and letting out a relieved breath. “Good. You don’t need any of that on your shoulders.”

“It’s freeing," Pearl admitted. “All of you finally,  _ finally _ know the truth… it feels wonderful.”

“Good.” Amethyst smiled, settling in for a long moment of peace. “Hey… Pearl?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you think there’s anything we can do about the kindergartens?”

Pearl looked down at Amethyst, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Like… I dunno. The land around it is dead and everything, but maybe we could find a way to like… fill them in. Erase the reminder. There’s plenty of other stuff out there for us to remember the gems by — all those structures and stuff. But we don’t need the kindergartens anymore. I don’t need it. And you don’t either.”

She had finally figured out, after everything, that Pearl took some blame for the kindergartens. She didn’t need that. None of them needed it.

“Mmmm… maybe,” Pearl said thoughtfully. “One step at a time, though. We need to get the house fixed first.”

“I think we should  _ relax _ first.”

Pearl laughed. “Okay, okay. We’ll relax first.”

She laid back again, Amethyst’s head still in her lap, eyes fixing on the stars once more. “Nothing’s going to be the same anymore,” Amethyst said slowly, “is it?”

“No,” Pearl admitted. “But that’s okay. Change is good sometimes. And some of us are long overdue for it.”

“Amen.” Amethyst fell silent for a moment before cracking one eye open. “So hey… did you ever call that mystery girl from the party?”

Pearl immediately started sputtering, and Amethyst bit down a laugh. Things were indeed changing.

And that was perfectly okay.


End file.
